A few days ago, I signed up for Noom. You’ve seen the commercials, I’m sure. And to be honest, I have heard a few friends talk about giving it a try and having good results with it. So, I thought I’d give it a try. This is not my first time signing up. I had done so last year but after reading what it was about, I chickened out and canceled it. Now if you know me, that is not like me. I am not a quitter. I just don’t think I was ready for it.

Anyone who has committed to changing their life must have a “why”; something that sticks in the back of their mind and reminds them why they have to do this, why this time they have to stick to it. I am finally at my “why” stage. Now, I am going to be brutally honest here. I have struggled with a big, dark cloud of depression since we lost our son, Hector, unexpectedly in a car accident in 2016. He was only 29 years young. Parents are not meant to see their children go before them. It took me 3 years to mourn him. Three years! When he passed away, I went into survival mode. I made sure everyone else was taken care of in their grief…my husband, my children, his girlfriend, his friends, but most importantly, our grandson. I didn’t want one day to go by without our grandson feeling loved and cared for. How could we explain to him that his daddy was gone for good. I have to say, he has been blessed with the best momma and stepdad the universe (or Hector) could have chosen for him. I am happy and grateful to say he is happy, healthy, and thriving today because of that.

But I digress. Fast forward to today, it’s 2022. We are “post” pandemic (or at least I hope we are), so much has happened in the world since then, but I am stuck. I am still stuck in my head. I have completely forgotten what it was like to be healthy and energetic. I have recently started looking at pictures of myself at that time. I looked so different! What happened to me? I know I have the right to mourn my son and to take as much time I need to do so, but I have let it get me to a place where I don’t recognize myself anymore. Now, that is not to say that some good things haven’t happened to me over this time. The universe brought me an amazing friend named Derick, someone who completely turned my world around, and started to bring me out of my depression (though he didn’t know it). He inspired me and pushed me to start my YouTube channel. He made me laugh and helped me start to enjoy life again. I thank the heavens for him every day and all that he brought into my life. Unfortunately, as with all good things in my life, our friendship ended and I am devastated. Another lesson from the universe, and that’s okay. I would do it all over again.

I am extremely blessed in my life. I have had lots of reasons to give up over the course of my life, but I was blessed with my mother’s stubbornness, and somehow I always manage to pick myself up and keep going, trying again. Starting my YouTube channel has been one of the biggest blessings and one of the things that has made such a difference in my life. I am enjoying traveling, seeing new places, meeting new people and enjoying new things. I have a loving, patient and supportive husband who loves me unconditionally and reminds me how much he loves me no matter what. I am so grateful for him.

So here I am. I am at a crossroads. If I don’t do something now to take care of myself, I feel I will lose who I am forever. I have gained a lot weight since 2016. I have stopped running, which was one of the greatest joys of my life. But most of all, I stopped loving myself like I used to.

I am just a few days into my Noom journey. Noom is a weight loss program that helps you change your habits and mindset around food.  It is different in that they use a psychology-based approach helps you change the way you think and feel about eating. I am enjoying the lessons each day and the steps that I have to complete. I love a good checklist! I feel good about this approach and I am hopeful that this, not only will help me lose the extra weight, but will also help me love myself again. My goal is to lose 60 pounds. My goal weight is 150. According to Noom, I should reach this goal by the end of January 2023. I am very excited to see how this fits into my busy life with work and travel. I hope you follow along with me on this journey.

I hope to be able to check in with you weekly and let you know how it’s going. Hopefully, it will help someone out there take that first step to love and take care of themselves again.

If you are interested in giving Noom a try, you can click on this referral link for a free trial and 20% off your subscription. I will also get a small fee if you subscribe.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you! Your love and support mean the world to me. Let’s get this done for good!